Getting Settled in Tokyo

This place is majorly unfamiliar. For a couple nights laying in bed I thought, “I’m really scared. Bobby, do you wanna just leave? You can just leave and go back to where you feel safe.” But then I thought, no, I want to stay here and accomplish this.

I’m staying in Sakurajosui, a neighborhood in Setagaya, Tokyo. The night I arrived, I had been on a plane for 13 hours, and a series of trains from the airport for 2 more. Thank google because I couldn’t tell you how I got to my apartment, Tokyo is a labyrinth.

The apartment was smaller than I was expecting. And all of the lights I turned on were way too many watts bright. I felt pretty on the fence actually, but I really needed a shower and some sleep so that’s what I did.

The next few days involved figuring out where to buy food and what to buy. The first place I tried was a convenience store called Aeon. It was about a 10 minute walk through the bento box maze of houses, tiny parks, temple grounds, service shops, farm plots, elementary schools, and miniature car parks. The thing is, I hadn’t actually thought about what it is I wanted to make for my meals. When I got to the store, nothing looked immediately appetizing. I ended up buying some Kellogg’s cereal with everything in it, milk, half a dozen eggs, apple yoghurt, tuna mayo onigiri, makoto (cod roe) onigiri, microwave rice, ground salmon sashimi, and seasoned bonito flakes in a pouch. I ate it all. It was all pretty good, albeit haphazard.

That night I decided to find a simple Japanese recipe I could make here in my tiny kitchen on the tiny stove top. I found a recipe for Gyudon: thinly sliced beef, onions, soy sauce, rice vinegar, green onions, egg, pickled ginger, served over rice. The next day I walked 20 minutes to a bigger supermarket called “Life”, in the neighborhood of Kyodo.

The supermarket turned out to be a department store with multiple floors. The grocery store was down the escalators to the basement level. It was very similar in appearance to an American grocery store. In fact, there was large english signage for the main departments, “dairy”, “seafood”, etc. Finding the things on my grocery list wasn’t as easy. Luckily, I learned enough Japanese grammar to work up the courage to ask where is the pickled ginger. After over an hour of cat and mouse with the things on my grocery list, I paid through the check out line and went home.

That night, it was time to make gyudon. I shuffled though the cupboards in the tight kitchen and found all the cooking equipment. I turned on the gas for the stove and began heating some cooking oil in a pan. I chopped the onion and put it in the pan. I admit, this small stove with a separate valve for the gas made me imagine the whole apartment engulfed in flames. The onions now sizzling with oil kept me on edge. I then chopped the beef and put it in the pan with a tbsp of sugar. Next I beat the egg in a small bowl and combined soy sauce and mirin in another bowl. I added the sauce and mirin to the pan and it frothed into a beautiful caramel colored boil that filled the apartment with a rich savory aroma. I let it simmer for a minute then added some chopped green onion and the beaten egg, then covered it. It felt really good to successfully make a new meal with groceries I couldn’t read the labels of in a kitchen that scared me a little bit.

After I finished eating, I noticed the trash was starting to get full. I didn’t remember seeing any dumpsters outside. I made a note, that would be something I need to figure out. I took a shower and got into bed feeling a little better but still pretty anxious. I honestly still had the thought that if I wanted to, I could leave. But I’m so fascinated by this place. Everything down to the shape of the streetlights. My anxiety parted for a bit and what was there was aliveness. “Yeah, this is what I want”, I thought, and faded into sleep.